I wouldn't hire me, if I were a Recruiter

Today, I had Facebook internship interview. I know, Facebook. Just getting interview call from such company would make you happier than getting job offers from few other mediocre companies. There is so much of excitement about working for Facebook, at the same time equal fear about their interviews. Was the interview really that tough? No, it wasn't.  Its easier than interview of many other mediocre companies but in Facebook its just that the interviewer is generally a Genius.

Let me first tell you my background, I'm a graduate student in computer science in USA and I have a work experience of around 3 years in software development in India. I applied for several companies for my summer internship as software engineer in the US and was able to clear one interview and secure a good offer from a good firm. Then I thought i should push myself, so I applied at companies like Facebook and Google, thinking I might with some luck get a call for the interview. The best part about these companies is, you will definitely get a call if you have applied for appropriate positions. What happened in the interview is really embarrassing, but was a good wake up call.

The interview was for just 45 minutes and he asked me just one question. If the question was something i dint know, may be i wouldn't have been feeling this bad. Question was simple, which any sophomore can solve using brute force, But there were many other good solutions. As every one does, i started with brute force solution, no fucks were given by the interviewer, expected. I started thinking of what other better ways to solve the problem, as i said earlier the interviewer would be smart enough to decide how stupid you are just by your thought process in a minute. I was thinking out loud, and he started digging deeper and deeper into the complexity of each solution i came up with. Also to be honest, I was intelligent enough to understand that my new solution is not good enough, but i tried to convince him. Seriously? trying to fool a Facebook engineer? that's tougher than cracking the interview.

So i fucked up, he told me to write the code for whatever "best algorithm" i came up with but while writing the code it was very evident that my algorithm is no good. At the end i couldn't take this embarrassment anymore and stopped, then asked him for a solution, he gave me a beautiful solution in one line. Was it difficult to understand? no, it was class. So why dint i solve it? may be because I'm getting dumber. What?! yes, we all do, if we are being lazy.

I feel like I would have done much better at this interview right after my Undergrad than after the 3 years experience. What changed? my interest is now more in getting higher pay, about what other people are doing in their lives, what non sense is happening in the world and so on. Basically my mind is full of junk. At work i just did what is expected of me nothing more. During those three years I knew that i had to excel in order to succeed but somehow i used to find some easy way out from all the problems. Basically I was being mediocre, worst part is i was't doing anything to get out of the zone. Because i felt i'm good enough. This interview changed my perception about myself so much that it ignited some kind of fire in me to get out of this zone.

If the interview was just bad i wouldn't be writing this note, but trust me it was as horrible as the title of this note. So what do I do now? "Start doing". Do what? anything that will make me better, like me many of you waste time everyday doing things which you cant even say mention in things you did. Just think about it, you would have spent an hour or two on Facebook ,Twitter or Instagram and all the links that these sites take you to, and watching some irrelevant and non sense videos, and thinking about what you want to be rather than doing what it takes.

So I'm deciding today that at least this year, I will dedicate to getting better at what I'm doing. If i don't get better at it, i would rather quit this and do something else where i can be good at than being mediocre here. If you have read this, and you are also in that zone, please "Start Doing" , hope we both fall in love with what we are doing. May be next year I crack this interview.

[dont] Handle With Care

Few days back I met a good friend of mine for a coffee and we had a hour long chat over many random things happening in our lives. I feel many things in my life aren't complete if I don't share them with her, weird it sounds but true. Obviously our conversation was never meant to end in an hour, but we chose wrong time of the day, so we had to leave early and we were talking about the same topics when we started walking back towards our offices.

While walking back we were taking shortcuts instead of going on the main road and there were many cars parked in that area. Cars were very closely parked(well no prize for guessing I  live in Bangalore) so there was very small gap between cars but enough for me to pass through. On any other day i would have definitely went through that space but that day, because she was with me I involuntarily avoided narrow space and took the long route around the cars. But she quickly passed through that narrow space and asked me why did I take the long route, I explained that I thought it would be difficult for her to pass through that narrow space and hence i dint take that route. I still remember the look on her face when i said that. Obviously any girl would have been equally bewildered at any statement made that makes them think they are fat. But I couldn't convince her that what I said was not because i thought she is fat, well what else could it be?

After she left, I was asking myself why did I do that? was she fat? nope, she was as thin as i was, then i realized its just my feeling that girls are delicate, very soft compared to boys that influenced me to think that she cant walk in that narrow space and made me take the long and free route. This is just a small incident but made me realize that we always have bias about girls. Girls are not as weak as we think they are, the unquestioned attitude of our society has sown these seeds of discrimination into everyones mind. I wonder how many girls actually are forced to believe that they are weaker, and just their belief would have destroyed their confidence to fight for equality in society. I still feel what if everyone considered girls to be as strong mentally, physically and emotionally as boys, will these rapes,abuses and insanity in our nation come to an end. I strongly believe so..